


The Noisy Roommate

by Jethny



Category: The Witcher (TV) RPF
Genre: Boys In Love, Established Friends with Benefits Relationship, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, Joey is Loud, Joey is a Brat, Long-Distance Relationship, Love Confessions, M/M, Madeleine can't stand them, Madeleine helps the two morons, Non-Graphic Smut, Phone Sex, Sexting, Texting, They can't stop having phone sex, quarantine fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:14:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23863588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jethny/pseuds/Jethny
Summary: Madeleine can’t stand Joey’s and Henry’s constant exchanges all day long during the quarantine. The guys seem to pass days texting and sexting, but also phone sexting and Madeleine is really happy for Joey. But she also has enough of their friends-with-benefits-shit. Joey and Henry are in love for Christ sake, and they have to stop acting like teenagers for one minute and properly acknowledge the fact and tell the other their feelings. Because Madeleine can’t stand hearing Joey’s moans through the wall at night, and deal with Joey’s sad face at day. It has to stop.
Relationships: Joey Batey & Madeleine Hyland, Joey Batey/Henry Cavill
Comments: 2
Kudos: 68





	The Noisy Roommate

**Author's Note:**

> It happens again. Written all by itself. Joey's insane and chaotic baking video is to blame.  
> This is as always pure fiction, for my own pleasure and in order to entertain people.

Living with Joey Batey is a great adventure. You’re always surprised with what crazy idea the man came up to keep you entertained for the day. Joey is a delight to live with, really, most of the time. He’s full of energy, incredible funny, so natural and impulsive. He’s almost always full of joy and dynamic, a good and loyal friend, in a few words, Joey is a great roommate. Madeleine is really happy to live with his best friend.

It's financially interesting, the rent being divided in two, it's easier to get motivated to get up in the morning, and the evenings are always more fun with a bottle of wine shared with a friend. Joey is there for her when Madeleine needs it, and she is there for Joey when he is depressed and anxious. Living together is a good choice, it suits them perfectly.

Being together constantly due to the lockdown is not an easy task, but they’re used to live with the other, so they manage and try to give some space to the other when it appears necessary, as much space as they can. Their apartment isn’t very large, but it’s cozy and they have their own space in their bedroom when they need it, even if they’re used to pass most of their time in the living room, even if they’re not doing a thing together.

Madeleine really adores Joey, she likes having him around her.

Yet, having Joey constantly giggling on his phone, acting like a teenager, texting, sending and receiving she-doesn’t-want-to-know-what to and from Henry Cavill, eventually, it becomes exhausting and a little bit annoying.

Of course she knows that makes Joey happy and joyful and that helps him a lot through the quarantine situation, and for that, she is thankful for Henry to take care of his friend.

She just wishes she could sleep a bit more at night, not having to hear almost every night through their common wall Joey gasping for air, panting and sighing, trying but failing to muffle his moans as he jerks off and certainly do _other things_ , listening and obeying for sure to Henry’s _filthy words_ through his phone.

Madeleine has to admit at first it was funny. Then, it was kind of hot. She may consider Joey has his best friend and doesn’t have any desire to become more with him – which is convenient as Joey doesn’t have any desire to become more than friend with women is general – yet, picturing a handsome man as Joey wanking in his bed while sex-phoning another man, the other man being Henry fucking gorgeous Cavill, yes, that arouses her. And that was fun and enjoyable the first times, but not so much after weeks. She teases Joey with that, him clearly being the louder one between the two of them, but Joey doesn’t really seem concerned by it. It doesn’t seem to bother him, and maybe even a little amuse him.

When it becomes a habit for them to do it at night, and also sometimes in the afternoon, that starts to become a problem for Madeleine. She can’t stop thinking about it, about them doing _it_ , because they can’t _stop_ doing it like fucking rabbits. And the man isn’t even physically here, damn it. She is going to be crazy.

Madeleine tries really hard to give Joey more space but even doing her best, she can know really easily when the guys are clearly not talking about random shit and are rather certainly sexting or sending inappropriate pictures. Joey giggles, and blushes, bites his lips. That makes her a little uncomfortable as she has the feeling to invade their intimacy without even wanting to; because Joey _should_ be more careful and make sure she’s not just behind him when he clicks on his phone’s screen to open a picture Henry sends him, because _he_ must _know_ there is a rather low amount of chance it would be an innocent picture of Henry’s cute dog Kal and not a picture of Henry’s very mannish anatomy. That’s entirely Joey’s fault. He does it on purpose. Or worse, he really doesn’t care. Because love makes him act like this.

Joey doesn’t seem embarrassed or bothered by his lack of manner or the lack of possible intimacy for Henry and him in this tiny apartment he shares with his best friend. Madeleine knows he really doesn’t have a problem with decency and he’s very not shy, but she wouldn’t have thought he was such an exhibitionist, in a way, but fact is, Joey Batey is a damn teaser, a charmer, well, a cockteaser. He’s a damn menace. Which seem to satisfy Henry. Of course.

She only has met the man twice but that has been enough to see the way Henry looks at Joey. He couldn’t stop looking at Joey, smiling, with sparkling eyes, lovingly watching Joey talk, but also ogling him with no shy, winking at him a couple of times, touching him not so innocently.

Madeleine knows the guys are in love and that it’s the fever and fervency of the beginning because that’s new, it’s recent, like two months, plus the fact they can’t see each other for the moment that make them that horny. They’re not doing any harm, quite the opposite if she looks at Joey.

The only problem is they are two idiots in love, that don’t know they’re in love. Or well, who don’t have the balls to tell the other it’s more than their stupid sex friends idea. They’re both in their thirties, they should know that friends with benefits doesn’t exist.

It always ends up with either the two in a romantic relationship, or with the two who lose their friendship because the situation becomes awkward when one of the two develops romantic feelings and wants more than sex, when the other don’t and is satisfied with only having the sex part. There is absolutely no other ending to the friends with benefits stuff. Never.

But Joey and Henry seem rather convinced it’s only that. It’s at least what Joey keeps telling Madeleine when she tries to understand their agreement. He tells her it’s fine, that it’s really a good deal that suits them both. Nonetheless, she can see him mopes time to time, because he obviously wants more with Henry, he obviously is in love with the man – and she can’t blame him. Which isn’t very great is when she has to deal with Joey’s blues and sadness. Madeleine tries to convince him he’s going to be hurt in the process if he doesn’t tell Henry he has feelings, that she’s sure the man has the same feelings; Joey doesn’t want to believe her. He never has any luck regarding his love relationships. Why would it start now.

It continues that way for days. Days that become weeks and weeks a month, then a month and a half, and no, Madeleine really can’t stand these two idiots rabbits anymore. It has to stop.

She’s not very proud of her plan, but she does what she can in this particular situation in exceptional times. So that’s why she ends up with Joey’s phone in her hand when the man he’s in the shower one morning – and she considers herself lucky because Joey takes his phone with him even in the bathroom most of the time, for whatever reason – alright he must takes kinky pictures here too, fuck.

Madeleine hurries and searches for Henry’s number through the conversation history and she regrets taping on Henry’s name so quickly when their last exchanges appear, with texts but also _pictures_. Fortunately, Joey’s picture isn’t that pornographic, more erotic than anything else, thanks to his artistic vibes Madeleine tells herself even she doesn’t doubt he knows how to take a dick pic or spread his legs and be all slutty when necessary.

On the other side, the two pictures of Henry are much more explicit and she stares at the screen for a few seconds just _because_ , she can’t not look at… all that. Maybe she blushes a little, but that would be understandable for pretty much everyone she’s sure. Her eyes picks some cute words, _‘miss you’, ‘baby’, ‘sleep well beautiful’_ , she smiles and then rushes to taps Henry’s number in her phone before leaving Joey’s room and returning to hers.

Once settled on her bed, Madeleine tells herself it’s for Joey’s own good and she’s not going to hide him her shenanigans, she’ll tell him, when Henry would have confirm he loves Joey as much as Joey loves him. He’ll forgive her.

She takes a breath and starts to write a text, very long text to Henry.

_Hi there Henry, it’s Madeleine, Joey’s friend. I hope you’re doing as good as possible during this lockdown. Well, I kind of know you’re doing good, because as you know, Joey has a beautiful voice, very talented, but also very loud and powerful voice in particular occasions, so I know that, I guess. Anyway. I’m really happy for you. Not complaining. And nothing is wrong, so do not worry, Joey is fine, we’re doing ok. I’ve pick up your number just because… You’re obviously great together, and I understand it’s hard for you guys being apart. And I know that ‘all that’ is new. I know you both pass days talking to each other, which is nice, but I don’t know what you’re talking about, and if you have talked about you know, feelings._

_I don’t want to be rude or disrespectful, and I know it’s none of my business, well, except when you and Joey keep me awake because you’re insatiable, fuck, give the boy a minute to rest, and think of my sanity please, our bedrooms are adjoining, but anyway. I’m here for him no matter what, and I like it when he’s that happy, but just know he has insecurities and fears, I know you know that and take care of him, you seem a real lovely… friend for him, very thoughtful. I tried so many times to talk to him but he can’t listen to me and have faith in love for once and just, talk to you. So maybe if you, you can talk to him first, then… You’re a wonderful friend for him. But maybe he would also want you to be a lovely, I don’t know, partner, lover, boyfriend, whatever. Joey always gives himself entirely, he loves with his full heart. Plus, friends with benefits is shit. Everybody knows that._

_So, the next time you have Joey on the phone, which means tonight hm? please talk like actual adults. About feelings. Because for sure you want this treasure man to be yours, completely, in every possible way. Oh my god, that was gross, shit, I’m sure you already had him in every...ok. I’ll stop now. Please don’t break his heart. Your eyes told me the first time I met you how in love you are with him. I’m never wrong about these things. Just fucking tell him. It’s simple, you don’t have to worry I promise you._

_Thanks I guess. Also, sorry. But I can’t stand anymore the horny/happy/aroused/sad-puppy-eyes/insecure/happy/oh fucking happy/horny Joey. You guys need to say ‘I love you’, ‘please be mine’ and continue to be happy and horny rabbits. And hopefully you’ll be able to properly fuck very soon at your home and everyone would be very thankful for having some intimacy back again. Until then, talk to Joey._

_Stay safe and take care of yourself._

Before Madeleine can second guess what she has just written, she sends the text. She hopes Henry wouldn’t be too mad and thinks she’s totally crazy and a bad friend. That’s the opposite of what she wants.

The day passes and Madeleine doesn’t receive any answer from Henry, not that she expects any. That’s for the best if he didn’t answer her to tell her to fuck off and mind her own business.

When it is late, Joey’s phone chimes, that’s Henry calling him, he excuses himself and goes to his room. She hears them talk for long minutes, but after a moment she puts some music on in order to not be able to understand what Joey is saying, wanting to give him a little intimacy for the discussion she thinks they are having. Time to time she opens her ears to listen if there is any tension, but there’s none.

After an hour, as Joey doesn’t come back and she feels tired, she goes to bed. She listens to some music and read, before settling for the night.

When she’s almost asleep, she hears some noise on the other side of the wall, the sound of sheets being pushed back and Joey’s sighs, deep and low moans. He seems to really try to muffled his sounds but the pleasure is evidently too much for Joey to contain himself when he certainly reaches orgasm and, mortified but strangely pleased, Madeleine hears Joey’s jerky voice shout _‘Henry, yes, fuck, I love you too Henry, fuck baby!’_.

That appears, they have had a good talk after all, Henry following her good advice. All is for the best then. Madeleine has the confirmation of it a quarter of an hour later, when her phone vibrates, indicating she has receives a text. It’s from Henry.

_Dear Madeleine. Things are said, all settled, don’t worry anymore. You’re a good friend to Joey. It seems we needed a little help so thank you. He may will give you some shit for having gone through his phone behind his back but I think me telling him you’re right about my feelings and him confirming me his own feelings would have him more considerate and understanding to you. Also, really sorry for Joey’s vocal performance. I already told him to be quitter but it seems he really isn’t shy about it. Yet, that’s very… inconvenient for you and if it makes things, awkward, for you two, then I’m really sorry. We’ll decrease the calls. Have a good night. Kiss and hug Joey for me._

She smiles reading Henry’s message. The guy is really a charm, affectionate and a funny guy, perfect for Joey. She writes her answer.

_The fucking moron has his fun moaning like the slut he is, knowing I can hear him. Can’t believe it. Anyway, I’m happy for the young couple guys. Now, you know Joey LOVES YOU BABY FUCK YES. As our fucking neighbors. The kinky bastard. He’ll have your hug in the morning and maybe a slap too as he deserves it. Fuck no, bad idea, he’ll think it’s from you too I’m sure. I’ll try to sleep now yes thank you. Good night to you too dear Henry._

Madeleine laughs and sends her text, closing her eyes, finally having some rest.

**Author's Note:**

> Joey Batey is a menace.


End file.
